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In the business of making ponies happy* * *
"Laidies and gentlecolts!" the voice of the announcer echoed across the auditorium. "I present to you, the amazing Midwintersday sisters!"
The curtains rose, revealing four blue earth ponies standing as tough frozen in time, dramatically backlit by a variety of colorful spotlights. The lights danced around for a while before finally illuminating each pony with a warm white light. Once the scene was set, the ponies began acting out the opening skit with their usual ease. Three of the ponies, looking well-groomed and ready for a show looked over to the fourth, who was still wearing a bathrobe.
"Nice Midwintersday!" one of the performers exclaimed. "The show is starting, and you still haven't gotten ready."
"Are you sure, Stormy?" she asked, then looked towards the crowd with feigned surprise. "Ooops, you're right, hi audience!"
"HIIIII!" a storm of yells came from the crowd, consisting mostly of young fillies and their parents.
"Oh, how embarrasing!" Nice exclaimed. "Cal
The Derpy Report part 2.
THE DERPY REPORT
Part 2. Applejack
"An interview?" Applejack asked, cleaning the sweat from her eyebrow with a forehoof. "Derpy, what in tarnation are you up to?"
"Please?" Derpy said with pleading eyes. "It's just a short one, it won't be long!"
Just like Twilight before her, Applejack realized that logic simply did not apply to this situation, and decided to just go along with it.
"Well, I do need some help repairin' the fance back a' the farm," she said, gesturing towards Sweet Apple Acres with a tilt of her head.. "Help me out an' we'll talk in the meantime."
"Deal!" Derpy said, happy that she would be getting her interview and followed Applejack to the farm.
* * *
The fence in question had been reduced to a sorry stack of splinter and rusted nails by a recent storm. Only the wooden poles remained; Big Macintosh had secured them so deep into the ground and they would withstand anything less severe than the apocalypse. Derpy gulped as she realized the extent of the project. It was c
The Derpy Report part 1.
THE DERPY REPORT
Part 1. Twilight
Twilight felt a bit silly talking to a spoon. However, the young pony in front of her was so insistent, and her cross-eyed look was so endearing, that she simply didn't have the heart to say no, even if the request was eccentric.
"Sure, Derpy, I'd love to give you an interview," Twilight said, but her voice seemed to say otherwise, and she was eyeing the spoon in front of her with trepidation.
"You know that's a spoon, not a microphone, right?" she asked. "It doesn't record anything!"
"Puh-lease!" Derpy said, apparently untouched by trifling matters such as logic. "I promise it won't take long!"
Twilight looked around the town-square. Naturally, Derpy had approached her in the most crowded and exposed part of Ponyville. The conversation was already attracting attention and Twilight found herself trailed by dozen of curious eyes. She responded to the glances with an awkward smile and turned towards Derpy again.
"Okay, if you want to," she said in a low
Hey, what's up party ponies? DJ Pon-3 is in da house! I'm a portable and club DJ, available for parties, fashion shows,cruises, parades, you name it. Here's my business card, I'm friendly and affordable.. hey wait, don't go!
Wow, bet I sounded really desperate there for a sec, huh? It's just that once I get a beat going, I don't want it to stop, y'know? These days, business has been much better than usual, it seems that after what happened with Discord, everypony just want to forget their troubles and dance the night away.
Last week was booked entirely by this pink pony with hair like chewed bubblegum. We had a blast raising the roof of the bakery where she worked. But when her bits ran out, she tried to pay me with cupcakes, and that's when I left. As much as I'd like to, I can't sustain myself on baked goods and music, I need money! Now, if she had paid me in energy drinks...
I bet you're wondering what happened to me, I can just hear it, "everypony else was affected
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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